Tranquility

Tranquility
Originally uploaded by Poundstone.

This picture shows how I would like to be feeling, how I will focus on trying to feel. When I tell people everything that's going on in my life (baby due in November, moving in two weeks from a house to an apartment, working full time, running the jewelry business on the side, Ben's quest to find a full-time teaching job next year, etc.) they look at me like I should be a basket case. But I'm not. At least not all the time. Not yet anyway. At some point, when you realize you truly have no control over the majority of the circumstances in your life (and when you trust that the Big Guy Upstairs does) it's just hanging on to that trust, that reassurance that's the trick.

Yesterday morning I was reading part of a Henri Nouwen (professor at Harvard, Yale, and Notre Dame, author, lecturer, priest) book called Bread for the Journey. He talked about the fact that our emotional lives are rollercoaster rides, subjecting us to huge ups and downs. This is part of being human. But our faith - and a right view of the world and our own lives - comes from our willingness to return again and again to the well of prayer and reading the word. The truth we can find in these simple acts has does not depend in any way on how we feel. I'm finding myself really latching onto this idea, and finding it to be immeasurably comforting.